I think back to my days of being single and going on first dates and I shiver. Ugh. I hated it. And at times I loved it. There were great first dates that seemed very promising, but then those guys would reveal serious red flags on the second date. There were first dates that were total flops, but the guys somehow convinced me to go on a second date (I guess I was just hopeful?), and I would discover that, yup, I was right, this thing is a flop. There were guys who I had great online and phone chemistry with who, in real life, I had zero chemistry with. The high expectations, dashed dreams, and terrible roller coaster of doing it several times a week was hard on my poor soul.
I only finally found some reprieve when I had this breakthrough: there’s no need to even worry at all about how you behave on first dates. So much of the reason I found dating to be exhausting was, without perhaps even realizing it, I was putting on an act. Not a big act—I still wanted to be my true self—but, to some extent, I was trying to present the most polished version of myself. I was just so aware of how I was coming off. I was working so hard to edit myself, to make sure that I said exactly what I meant to say. No fumbling around. No mess-ups. No wonder I was so damn tired during my dating days.
Really, you don’t need to care or worry about how you behave on first dates. Screw any piece of advice on how to be on first dates. I promise you, the right guy is just on the side of the hill when you stop giving a damn about how you come off on first dates.
The right person will put you at ease
You have to understand that, when you meet a guy who could be good for you, he will put you at ease. You won’t have to think about how you’re coming off. You won’t have to edit yourself. Something about him will be so comforting and disarming that you will stop being self-conscious. If you find yourself feeling self-conscious, you’re probably on a date with the wrong guy already.